It's the time of year for lots of talk about miracle births, gifts from God, and family, friends, and other loved ones. The place where all these ideas intersect is, of course, sex.
It's possible that orgasm is just God's sneaky way of getting non-believers to shout “Oh, God!” with enthusiasm. Or it could be another wonderful gift.
Sex itself has got to be one of the greatest gifts of the divine. The pleasure of it, the myriad ways to experience it, and the many types of activities available all contribute to an inescapable conclusion that Somebody Up There wants humans to engage in sex. Procreational drives don't entirely account for the abundant fun and extreme pleasure that sex can give us. It far outshines the more necessary functions of eating, drinking, and waste removal. Religious theologies aside, there's just no reason not to enjoy sex greatly.
For instance, consider the clitoris. Goddess bless, it's an organ whose only physical purpose is sexual pleasure! Scientists may call it a “vestigial” organ—left over from the material that would otherwise become a penis in a male—but what sex-positive woman hasn't found plenty of uses for it?
For that matter, there are traditions and practices that believe that a woman's erotic energy and orgasms are the most powerful source of youth and virility. There are many ancient sources of information about this. The One Taste community has a daily meditation practice devoted to building and sharing this resource. Each woman participating in the daily orgasm meditation practice receives 15 minutes of a very specific technique of direct clitoral stimulation. Her increased orgasmic energy extends to everyone who enjoys her presence. It is blessed to give and to receive.
It's possible that orgasm is just God's sneaky way of getting non-believers to shout “Oh, God!” with enthusiasm. Or it could be another wonderful gift. Really, what could an omnipotent Creator be thinking when giving orgasmic potential to His/Her creation if not something like: “Here, Kids, have fun!”?
One important gift of this type is rarely discussed at all—orgasmic childbirth. Yes, believe it or not, there are women who have such a wonderful time giving birth that they have an orgasm. Or a string of them. And it is happening increasingly frequently as more women learn about it and how to make the birthing process more hospitable toward it. Not being hospitalized, mind you, helps tremendously. And not using drugs that deaden the sensations and automatic physiological responses is crucial.
According to those who have experienced orgasmic childbirth, the biggest impediments to ecstatic birthing are fear and shame. Fear and shame cause physiological processes in the human body that can interfere with or prevent pleasure. Though women know about the risks to their life and health during the birthing process, the most common fear about birthing is usually the fear of pain. We've all—men and women both—been told to expect it. And we can thank Eve for it.
However, women have also been told for centuries that the first time they have sex will be painful. And indeed, it is painful for some people. But it's a good bet that most of those who had a painful deflowering expected pain, were afraid or ashamed at the time, and/or were with a partner who did little to help make the experience fun and pleasant.
Happy first-time sexual experiences and ecstatic birthing both require an atmosphere of physical and emotional support. An ability to relax into what is happening is critical, especially when feelings become intense. Breathing fully and deeply relaxes the muscles and heightens the pleasant sensations. As SM players will tell you, intense sensation is not the same as pain, and breathing through intense sensation can bring ecstasy. This is similar language to that used by orgasmic childbirth proponents.
Furthermore, the same hormones are released into the body during birthing as during sex and orgasm. Abdominal contractions occur during arousal and orgasm—and the stronger the orgasm, the stronger the contractions. Midwifes and some white-garbed medical personnel suggest that birthing women should engage in deep kissing when their contractions subside or stall. It quickly gets all those pelvic muscles moving again.
While we're on the concept of orgasm and birth together, I should also mention that some women orgasm for the first time when they're pregnant, or claim that the fullness of their bodies while they are pregnant increases their sexual pleasure. Orgasms are more intense and longer-lasting when the contractions vibrate solidly through one's entire abdomenal cavity. Your results may vary.
Another gift—and source of controversy—is the pleasure women experience during breastfeeding. Some see it as another way Nature has come up with to encourage a necessary function, but many women of our culture are ashamed to be erotically aroused around their own children, even infants who have no concept of what it means. One woman tells her story about an erotic dream triggered by her baby's suckling while she slept, in an online article titled “Breastfeeding is not pedophilia.” She says it's normal to get turned on and to feel pleasure while breastfeeding. And yet after her dream, she moved her baby “an arm's length away” into a separate bed because it “totally freaked” her out.
During breastfeeding, as during orgasm and childbirth, hormones spread through the body making us feel content, loving, and loved. The hormones and the feelings can be welcomed as gifts from heaven. Orgasms and childbirth and pleasure and breastfeeding can happen together as the norm rather than as an extraordinary exception. Then we'll have miracle births every day.
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